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If you suffer from low confidence and self-esteem, your negativity could have a knock-on effect on your child. Use our action checklist to cut out self-criticism – and give your child’s body confidence a boost, too.
Are you a body-basher?
You may tell your child they're beautiful every day. But if they hear you constantly criticizing your own body, they’re likely to judge themselves in a similar way. This could undermine their confidence and self-esteem, and make them worry about their own looks.
When it comes to beauty, women are their own worst critics. According to The Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report 2016, only 20 per cent of women in the UK have high body esteem. Mirror, Mirror, a review of research published by the Social Issues Research Centre, reveals that women are much more critical of their appearance than men, and much less likely to admire what they see in the mirror.
"We need to become more aware of the negative comments we make about our own bodies or the way we criticize our own eating patterns, as this insecurity can be picked up by our daughters," says research health psychologist Dr Phillippa Diedrichs. "Feeling comfortable and valuing your own body might be tricky in today’s culture, but the more positive and caring you can be to yourself and the way you look, the easier it will be for your daughter to develop confidence about her own body."
Don’t teach your child self-criticism
If you're not one of the fortunate one in five who likes their looks, then it's time to consider the impact your body-bashing might be having on your daughter.
"Many women make these kinds of comments without even realizing, but they can pass on a subliminal message to our daughters, making them believe it's natural, even encouraged, for a girl to be critical of, and unhappy with, her own body," says Diedrichs.
A recent UK government inquiry, Reflections on Body Image: Report from the All Party Parliamentary Group on Body Image, found that comments like these are picked up on and mimicked by children. The Adverse Effects of Social Pressure to be Thin on Young Women: An Experimental Investigation of the Effects of "Fat Talk" showed that women only need to hear another woman talking like this for three to five minutes before their own body confidence decreases.
So what can we do to help our children not pick up this attitude?
How to gain confidence by being kinder to yourself
It's not always easy to show a positive attitude about your body in front of your child – especially if you don’t feel it. But by making an effort to improve your own outward body confidence, you'll help your child feel positive about their body, too.
Once you've ditched the negative comments, get positive. If you like the shape of your hips or how strong you feel after a gym session, say so. If you think your new haircut or dress suits you, or that you're a caring and funny person, remark on it. You may feel self-conscious at first, but the new assured you will work wonders on your self-esteem – and your child’s, too.
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have accomplished things that I am proud of and that is what gives me my confidence and my beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
You aren’t meant to fade into the background."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Your worth has nothing to do with your weight."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
It was only when I realized that what makes you different and unique also makes you beautiful, that’s when my confidence grew."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
My beauty routine starts with embracing my own natural beauty and its uniqueness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Real beauty to me means challenging yourself to do the things you can’t and showing yourself kindness along the way."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have stopped trying so hard to fit in - my beautiful personality is written all over my face and that’s the only beauty I need."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I learned that beauty is from the heart, it’s all about kindness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I don't often see dark skin in the media, and skin conditions even less so. I want everyone to see that being a Black woman with vitiligo is a source of resilience and pride."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up as a transgender woman, I was pressured to change who I was to fit others' ideas about who a woman should be. Now I'm representing myself and my beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I want to shatter the stereotype that I need breasts to look like a woman. Choosing to live flat after my mastectomy has made be stronger and more confidenand that's truly beautiful."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I've carried three babies in this belly, and earned every grey hair. I want all mothers to see that their bodies are perfect just the way they are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
There's a lot of pressure for women to 'act their age'. I want to show that aging means continually growing and experiencing life beautifully."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Femininity is often depicted as a formula - cut your hair like this, wear that. To me, it's about loving yourself fearlessly for who you are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up, I never saw women wearing hijabs in media & advertising. Now girls can see me, achieving my career goals and defining beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I grew up surrounded by narrow ideas about how a woman should look and what she could be. I’ve overcome those limits and make no apologies for embracing my ambition and my natural beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I'm not worried about fitting into anyone else's ideas of beauty. As a brown-skinned multi-media creator, I want to redefine beauty to include all of us in the melanin pride community."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Women with Alopecia often feel that baldness will hold them back from realizing their full personal and professional potential. Showing the beauty of bald women helps open doors for us to opportunities that others take for granted."