Life can feel lonely for teenagers. Have you considered writing a message of support to your son or daughter about being a teenager? Sharing your own experiences, words of wisdom and encouragement can help you empathize with them and improve your conversations.
A message of support for my daughter
It seems such a long time since I was a teenager. But when I was looking at some old photos at your grandmaâs recently, it suddenly all came flooding back. I saw a picture of myself at the same age you are now and suddenly my heart just melted for you. I looked into my own girlâs eyes and I could see all the confusion, all the uncertainty, all the things I was unsure or even ashamed about. So thatâs why Iâm writing you this message of support. Itâs such a time of change and I want to tell you how I got through it, because I think hearing about some of my experience might help you find your own way through.
For a while, it felt as though looks were all that mattered â and I never seemed to look as good as I thought the girls around me did. But gradually, I learned to trust my instincts about what really made me who I was (and who I still am today). I learned to play to my academic strengths. I realized that though Iâd never be on the netball team, I could still enjoy other activities like riding my bike and take pride in being fit.
I discovered that what matters most is learning to trust that voice inside thatâs authentically me, that makes me the person I am. I realized that I could trust that voice, and that listening to it would help me work out how to be the best possible âmeâ I could be. I didnât have to be the best at whatever it was I was trying to achieve, but I did have to try my best. Realizing the difference between those two things really boosted my confidence.
It took me a long time to realize the importance of friendship with other girls in my life and I think youâre learning that sooner than I did. You donât need tons of friends, but you do need at least a few close friends you can trust, and you need to learn to accept them, warts and all, and work out the hard stuff. No one is a perfect friend, but what your friend does is care about you â and in return, you care about her.
When boyfriends (or girlfriends) come along, thatâs a new stage again. I remember how weird it felt, this new kind of closeness. I spent a lot of time in my bedroom just thinking about my crushes, and youâll probably want to do that, too. I didnât want to share these things with my mom and I imagine youâll feel the same way. Mulling over the new stuff thatâs going on is important, because thereâs a lot to process. And itâs not just about boyfriends or girlfriends, itâs about all the other things that suddenly seem so important â your âfigureâ, how much youâre eating, how much exercise you do and what you look like in that dress, exam results, what you want to do when you grow up.
I made a fair few mistakes when I was a girl and no doubt you will, too. Itâs one thing we can both be certain of. But hereâs something I learned when I was older and Iâd like you to know it now. We all make mistakes in life but whatâs important is what you do after you realize youâve made one and how you work through it. It takes courage to face up to your mistakes and move on but being able to do this can be incredibly empowering. It can give your self-esteem a huge lift, because it helps you realize that, whatever happens, you call the shots in your life and you can turn things around.
Always know that I love you
Love Mom
Confidence Kit
This guide consists of a series of articles covering key topics that affect self-esteem, and it provides activities to boost body confidence in your child.
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