Ever feel like you’re talking to your child in a different language? Then try using our action checklist – it might not teach you to be fluent in ‘teenager’, but it will definitely help you speak a language you can both understand.
The miscommunication minefield
How is it that you and your child fall out over the smallest things? Why do they take your well-intentioned comments the wrong way? Talking to young people can be a tricky business and miscommunication is common.
"We generally get on pretty well," says Anne, mum of 13-year-old Sarah. "But I sometimes find that if I'm distracted and not giving the conversation my full attention, that's when we start miscommunicating."
Talking in 'teenager'
Young people tend to be hypersensitive and may be suspicious of some of the things you say. Even a compliment or simple observation can be taken the wrong way, leaving you feeling like you can’t say anything right. Try not to take it personally, growing up can be tricky, and it can take time and patience to improve communication.
So how can you give a compliment your child genuinely appreciates? And how can you offer advice without it turning into an argument?
How to improve communication
Every relationship requires a special way of communicating. By being specific, signalling first and taking the time to talk, you'll help your child understand what you actually mean when you comment on their outfit or hairstyle, avoiding the miscommunication that can damage their body confidence.
Use our action checklist, and you should find that talking to your child gets much easier.
To protect privacy we've changed the names of people whose stories we tell on these pages, but their stories are genuine.
Here are some helpful strategies offered by cognitive researcher and psychologist Dr Nancy Etcoff:
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have accomplished things that I am proud of and that is what gives me my confidence and my beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
You aren’t meant to fade into the background."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Your worth has nothing to do with your weight."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
It was only when I realized that what makes you different and unique also makes you beautiful, that’s when my confidence grew."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
My beauty routine starts with embracing my own natural beauty and its uniqueness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Real beauty to me means challenging yourself to do the things you can’t and showing yourself kindness along the way."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have stopped trying so hard to fit in - my beautiful personality is written all over my face and that’s the only beauty I need."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I learned that beauty is from the heart, it’s all about kindness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I don't often see dark skin in the media, and skin conditions even less so. I want everyone to see that being a Black woman with vitiligo is a source of resilience and pride."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up as a transgender woman, I was pressured to change who I was to fit others' ideas about who a woman should be. Now I'm representing myself and my beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I want to shatter the stereotype that I need breasts to look like a woman. Choosing to live flat after my mastectomy has made be stronger and more confidenand that's truly beautiful."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I've carried three babies in this belly, and earned every grey hair. I want all mothers to see that their bodies are perfect just the way they are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
There's a lot of pressure for women to 'act their age'. I want to show that aging means continually growing and experiencing life beautifully."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Femininity is often depicted as a formula - cut your hair like this, wear that. To me, it's about loving yourself fearlessly for who you are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up, I never saw women wearing hijabs in media & advertising. Now girls can see me, achieving my career goals and defining beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I grew up surrounded by narrow ideas about how a woman should look and what she could be. I’ve overcome those limits and make no apologies for embracing my ambition and my natural beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I'm not worried about fitting into anyone else's ideas of beauty. As a brown-skinned multi-media creator, I want to redefine beauty to include all of us in the melanin pride community."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Women with Alopecia often feel that baldness will hold them back from realizing their full personal and professional potential. Showing the beauty of bald women helps open doors for us to opportunities that others take for granted."