Dove A secret code for your mother-daughter relationship

  • 1
    Choose a simple codeword

    Pick something that sounds normal and natural, such as "Mum, can you fix my bracelet?" Then your daughter – or you – can use it to signal there's something you both need to discuss

  • 2
    Agree some rules

    Write the codeword rules together and agree to stick to themGet ready for the changes

  • 3
    Two codes are better than one

    Share with your daughter what puberty, and waiting for it, was like for you. Find photos of yourself at her age to look at together

  • 4
    Find a second confidante

    It may help to have another adult that your daughter can use her codeword with, in case you’re not around or she doesn't feel able to open up to you

  • 5
    Take the code seriously

    When your daughter uses the code, praise her for asking for help. Take her somewhere private and listen to her

                
          

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