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Some ‘talks’ are a rite of passage growing up, like when you sit down to chat about dealing with the class bully or topics like sex, consent and puberty. Now, with the rise of social media, filters and selfies, there's never been a better time to have the selfie talk and help your child navigate the online world. So, let’s get started.
How does social media affect wellbeing?
With over a third of teenagers spending 3 hours a day (or more) scrolling on their feeds, it’s safe to say social media isn’t going anywhere. It can help us stay connected to friends and family, record memories, learn about people from different backgrounds, and even master the latest dance craze.
So, why is it that the more time young people spend on social media the more likely they are to experience low self-esteem, mood and body confidence? Scientists now think that it’s how (rather than how much) young people use social media that shapes whether it will positively or negatively influence their life.
Actively engaging with others and sharing content can make us feel connected and boost our mood. But spending lots of time passively scrolling can make us feel lonely and disconnected, too.
Just one of the negative effects of social media is how it can make us focus our appearance, and feel like we’re not good enough if we don't look a certain way. When it comes to the relationship between social media and low self-esteem, seeking validation via likes and comments, and making comparisons to others can also have a negative effect. One of the main causes for this is that many of the photos we see online are digitally distorted and not representative of real life.
Digital distortion vs. reality
We tend to only see the highlight reels of people's lives on social media and most people only share the ‘best’ versions of themselves. If the images your child is seeing online are all carefully curated, edited and filtered, this can negatively impact their body confidence.
With 4 out of 5 girls saying they compare the way they look to other people on social media, posting the ‘perfect selfie’ can feel like an obligation rather than a bit of fun. Our recent research shows that girls take on average up to 14 selfies in an attempt to get the right ‘look’ before choosing one to post. Social media filters also allow us to alter our appearance to mimic unrealistic beauty standards by removing blemishes, brightening skin, making eyelashes longer – the list goes on.
Taking selfies and using filters can be a source of creativity and self-expression. But when they’re used to conform to society’s beauty standards, or, because your child doesn't feel confident posting unedited pictures, it's a sign that it might be a problem. In fact, a quarter of girls think that they don't think they look good enough without photo editing – so, there’s never been a better time to have the ‘Selfie Talk’.
How to have the ‘Selfie Talk’
You can help your child think critically and cleverly about how they use social media and improve their self-esteem, confidence and wellbeing by teaching them to:
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have accomplished things that I am proud of and that is what gives me my confidence and my beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
You aren’t meant to fade into the background."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Your worth has nothing to do with your weight."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
It was only when I realized that what makes you different and unique also makes you beautiful, that’s when my confidence grew."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
My beauty routine starts with embracing my own natural beauty and its uniqueness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Real beauty to me means challenging yourself to do the things you can’t and showing yourself kindness along the way."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have stopped trying so hard to fit in - my beautiful personality is written all over my face and that’s the only beauty I need."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I learned that beauty is from the heart, it’s all about kindness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I don't often see dark skin in the media, and skin conditions even less so. I want everyone to see that being a Black woman with vitiligo is a source of resilience and pride."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up as a transgender woman, I was pressured to change who I was to fit others' ideas about who a woman should be. Now I'm representing myself and my beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I want to shatter the stereotype that I need breasts to look like a woman. Choosing to live flat after my mastectomy has made be stronger and more confidenand that's truly beautiful."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I've carried three babies in this belly, and earned every grey hair. I want all mothers to see that their bodies are perfect just the way they are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
There's a lot of pressure for women to 'act their age'. I want to show that aging means continually growing and experiencing life beautifully."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Femininity is often depicted as a formula - cut your hair like this, wear that. To me, it's about loving yourself fearlessly for who you are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up, I never saw women wearing hijabs in media & advertising. Now girls can see me, achieving my career goals and defining beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I grew up surrounded by narrow ideas about how a woman should look and what she could be. I’ve overcome those limits and make no apologies for embracing my ambition and my natural beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I'm not worried about fitting into anyone else's ideas of beauty. As a brown-skinned multi-media creator, I want to redefine beauty to include all of us in the melanin pride community."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Women with Alopecia often feel that baldness will hold them back from realizing their full personal and professional potential. Showing the beauty of bald women helps open doors for us to opportunities that others take for granted."