You may never have been a girl yourself, but that needn’t be a barrier to father daughter bonding. You want your daughter to grow into a self-confident young woman – and she’s going to need her dad on her side.
Many men feel a little uncertain, even fearful, talking to their daughters about positive body confidence or appearance. They may be thinking: “How can I help? This is not my area."
Don’t worry about not having all the answers. Instead, sharpen your listening skills and work through the problem-solving process with her, encouraging her to share her thoughts and come up with possible solutions. Guiding her to trust in her own capabilities will help her confront other challenges in her life and build her self-esteem.
Boost your daughter’s positive body confidence
Comments directed towards girls often focus on appearance. “You look beautiful” or “your hair's so pretty,” for example. As her dad, you know your daughter is much more than a pretty face. You see her personality, talents and intelligence – so make a point of telling her. It helps to be specific, from “you were so kind sharing with your sister just then” to “the way you tackled that homework was really clever”.
Taking the emphasis away from how she looks will help your daughter focus on all her qualities and feel more self-assured. Ironically, NOT talking about her body can actually help to boost her positive body confidence.
Show your sensitive side
In many cultures, men are not encouraged to show feelings – especially not weakness and vulnerability. You want to be strong for your family, so it can feel uncomfortable when your daughter is struggling with a sensitive issue.
Men needn’t be ashamed of showing their true selves in front of their daughter. Doing so helps to build the relationship between father and child and can improve communication between the two of you.
"When you as a father show your own weakness, it gives permission for your daughter to accept her weaknesses,” says Santiago Trabolsi, psychologist, life coach and dad. “This emotional connection generates warmth, empathy and honest communication between the two of you.”
Think about your attitudes to women
Try asking your daughter what she believes you think of her. It might not be what you’re expecting or what you wanted to convey.
Remember that girls create a perception of themselves based on the comments and actions they experience in all their relationships, particularly at home. How you treat your daughter, as well as how you treat her mother and other women, will shape the way she sees herself and how confident she feels.
As she grows up, your daughter is gradually forming her opinion of herself, and this will largely be based on what she believes her parents think of her. Her self-esteem will depend on how much she feels valued, respected and accepted.
Break down communication barriers
Does your daughter complain: “My dad never listens! He just tells me what to do”? When she opens up, avoid leaping in with your own opinions – you might distance her if she doesn’t immediately understand your point.
Instead, show that you are listening and empathise by saying something like: “I understand you feel hurt and angry.”
This lets her know she is being taken seriously and helps her to trust her own feelings, which builds self-awareness and confidence.
Her relationship with you will colour her relationships with other men throughout her life: colleagues, friends, partners. Just think, one day she may fall in love and recognise the same empathy, respect and understanding in her partner that her father has shown her. As her dad, you're an important role model.
Author: Christina Berton🔗, self-esteem expert and founder of the Amara Pro Self-Esteem Foundation in Mexico
Mums can support the dad-daughter bond by:
- Recognising the impact of fathers on daughters and valuing his perspective
- Encouraging him to connect more with his daughter
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have accomplished things that I am proud of and that is what gives me my confidence and my beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
You aren’t meant to fade into the background."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Your worth has nothing to do with your weight."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
It was only when I realized that what makes you different and unique also makes you beautiful, that’s when my confidence grew."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
My beauty routine starts with embracing my own natural beauty and its uniqueness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Real beauty to me means challenging yourself to do the things you can’t and showing yourself kindness along the way."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I have stopped trying so hard to fit in - my beautiful personality is written all over my face and that’s the only beauty I need."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I learned that beauty is from the heart, it’s all about kindness."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I don't often see dark skin in the media, and skin conditions even less so. I want everyone to see that being a Black woman with vitiligo is a source of resilience and pride."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up as a transgender woman, I was pressured to change who I was to fit others' ideas about who a woman should be. Now I'm representing myself and my beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I want to shatter the stereotype that I need breasts to look like a woman. Choosing to live flat after my mastectomy has made be stronger and more confidenand that's truly beautiful."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I've carried three babies in this belly, and earned every grey hair. I want all mothers to see that their bodies are perfect just the way they are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
There's a lot of pressure for women to 'act their age'. I want to show that aging means continually growing and experiencing life beautifully."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Femininity is often depicted as a formula - cut your hair like this, wear that. To me, it's about loving yourself fearlessly for who you are."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Growing up, I never saw women wearing hijabs in media & advertising. Now girls can see me, achieving my career goals and defining beauty on my own terms."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I grew up surrounded by narrow ideas about how a woman should look and what she could be. I’ve overcome those limits and make no apologies for embracing my ambition and my natural beauty."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
I'm not worried about fitting into anyone else's ideas of beauty. As a brown-skinned multi-media creator, I want to redefine beauty to include all of us in the melanin pride community."
YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DOVE LOVE
Women with Alopecia often feel that baldness will hold them back from realizing their full personal and professional potential. Showing the beauty of bald women helps open doors for us to opportunities that others take for granted."