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  1. Welcome to Dove
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  4. Talking about appearance

Cracking compliments: teach your child how to take a compliment

3
min read
Article date
01/11/2016
Review date
01/11/2016

Giving your child a compliment should be simple, but some young people have a tendency to take things the wrong way. To help your child understand when someone is genuinely admiring or praising them, share our Cracking Compliments video and action checklist with them.

Thanks for the compliment?

Growing up is a confusing time. Young people are heavily influenced by their friends' opinions and looks, but also want to be their own person with their own style.

Your child is probably very aware of the different shapes, sizes and styles in their peer group, and any reference to their own looks may leave them feeling anxious and confused. It's totally normal if they misunderstand what family or friends mean when they compliment their appearance.

Help your child learn how to respond to a compliment

Help your child by following our action checklist and sending them the link to this article and video. The Cracking Compliments clip takes them through five different compliments friends might give about how they look. Each time they'll see two interpretations: how they might take the comment and what their friend probably means.

  • Start with a conversation

    Does your child and their friends often compliment or greet one another with comments based on appearance? Encourage them to use alternatives that don't focus on looks

  • Share this page and the Cracking Compliments video with them

    Use them as a prompt to discuss the kinds of comments they find confusing or hurtful

  • Get their friends on board

    Encourage them to share the resources with their friends to help them realise the power of their words and break the habit of commenting on appearance 

next steps

  • Discuss how the video made them feel. Can they see that what people say and mean are open to interpretation? 
  • Could they go a whole week without commenting on the way their friends look?
  • Encourage your child to share the video with their friends and have the same conversation with them. Can they help their peer group focus their compliments on the things they truly value in one another?

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